Monday, August 31, 2009

August--A Bitter-sweet Month

I'm feeling melancholy as August comes to an end. This was a month full of family, moves, transitions and adjustments. The month was also full of highs and lows.

The painful decision was finally made to move my mother to a facility with full-time care. She had lived in her own condominium here in Eugene since my father died. She had a wonderful 18 years on her own, but her memory slowly decreased until she was unable to make decisions for herself. In February after a serious fall (nothing broke, thank goodness) we started in-home care about 20 hours a day. That worked for a time, but when her knees got to be so painful going upstairs to bed was torturous, we knew we had to find her a living situation on one floor.

The three sisters, myself included, were so fearful she would resist, be angry, be unhappy for the rest of her life. To our amazement and great relief, she accepted her new situation almost immediately. She was able to take her cat, Trouble, with her, and is surrounded by family pictures and her own furniture. After 3 days, she told me she hadn't been to her condo for a long, long time and couldn't think of anything she needed from there. She enjoys activities that are offered, and watches out for her housemates. As a friend said to me as we considered the move, Mother has potential now. When she was in her condominium, her potential was close to zero. Nothing new happened, and she was always going to be the one cared for. Now her world has expanded.

 
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I know many of you have been in similar situations with your parents. I appreciate everyone I talked to, and my sisters as we came to a consensus. This was a rough patch that turned out for the best for everyone.

Another move in my family was for my daughter Meg and granddaughter Angelica. Meg had been part of my mom's home care team, so she began looking for other employment. Eugene/Springfield has one of the highest unemployment rates of the country, so she decided to move North, close to our other daughter Rachel and her family. Although the move makes sense and she and Angelica look forward to new and exciting possibilities, it is a bit sad for Mike and me. For most of Angelica's seven years they have lived no further than 40 minutes from us, so we've been very spoiled seeing Meg and Angelica very frequently. One positive note is that we'll be able to see and visit with both daughters, son-in-law and three grand kids when we make the 3 hour trip north.

Here is a little photo essay of how I spent much of my summer with two darling little girls...

 
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husking corn and feeding the husks to the horses...

 
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swimming at the reservoir on a hot day...

 
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creating art in the backyard...

 
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dangling a stick in the back pond...

 
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And swinging time after time on the best rope swing in the world, flying over the the front pond.

So you can probably imagine why tears welled up in my eyes as daughter and two granddaughters drove out the driveway for the last time this summer. There will be other visits, other summers, but, boy, this was a sweet one!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you that your mother transitioned quickly and so well. What a load off of you.

You guys are such great grandparents. Your grandkids are so very fortunate to have you. I feel your pain as Meg goes further north.

I leave tomorrow morning for Africa again. Hopefully I will be connected and able to keep you up on my life there. I return Jan 5 to Hilo.

Aloha,
Petie

Ruth Armitage said...

Your post was so encouraging regarding your mom's transition... I'm glad it has been smooth. And your photos of the girls brought back such sweet memories of farm life... I hope to be able to give something like that to my grandkids one day. How wonderful to be immersed in their lives like you were this summer! They are fortunate kids and it will be a foundation they'll never forget:)